Book Review: PERFECT ON PAPER by Sophie Gonzales. St. Martin’s Publishing Group, 2021.
Read & reviewed by Jane Mack, September 2022.
This novel is a YA romantic comedy. It features Darcy Phillips, a junior in high school, attending the fancy private school, St. Deodetus Academy. Her mother, Mrs. Morgan, teaches science at the same school. Darcy is a member of Q&Q Club, queer and questioning. She has a huge crush on her best friend, Brooke Nguyen, who is unfortunately looking elsewhere. Darcy dislikes intensely the Australian boy, Alexander Brougham, who is too cute and too rich and too self-assured for her tastes. Alexander Brougham is, however, friends with the head of the Q&Q Club, Finn Park and his other friends Hunter and Luke. Darcy’s older sister, Ainsley, attends community college now, but was the founder of the Q&Q Club at St. Deodetus. Ainsley shares a passion for make-up and movies with Darcy. In the background is Darcy’s father, divorced and living separately, providing her home every other week.
SPOILER ALERT! This book review contains spoilers.
INTRODUCTION
Darcy has a secret. She has the key to Locker 89, a locker unassigned to students. She’s been running an advice business, giving advice to the lovelorn or just those who want relationship help, ever since her Freshman year. Students drop their queries and fee ($10 now!) in the locker; she retrieves them and sends them an answer by e-mail. She offers a money back guarantee, and she rarely has to pay back the fee. The success of her operation depends on the fact that no one knows she’s the one giving the advice. There’s been lots of speculation—it could be a teacher. Or the Janitor. Or a former student. Or anyone!
On the unfortunate day the story begins, it is long after school hours and Darcy is waiting for her mother to finish her teaching obligations. Darcy takes advantage of the time and quiet opportunity and is shoulder-deep in Locker 89 when another student unexpectedly opens the door from the swimming pool and steps out into the hallway. He sees Darcy at Locker 89. He is Alexander Brougham.
The exchange is one of misunderstandings and lies. The upshot is that Brougham wants personal love relationship advice to reconcile with his ex-girlfriend Winona. He is willing to pay. Brougham wants, not just a letter. Not just a one time bit. But advice day to day. Darcy feels badgered and bribed. What else can she do if she wants Brougham to keep her secret but agree to his consultation demands?
INS AND OUTS
Meanwhile, Darcy’s best friend wants help with writing an essay. Under ordinary circumstances, Darcy would be flying to Brooke’s aid, but the timing is all wrong. She’s already made an appointment with the bane of her existence, Alexander Brougham.
Darcy shares her advice letters with us, focusing on attachment styles and encouragement. We see her in action around Brooke, who works in a cosmetics shop and shares samples with Darcy and Ainsely. We watch Darcy navigate time with Brougham, finding his house a mansion and his lifestyle confusing.
We see the Q&Q Club in action, with Finn Park’s flamboyant personality matched against that of Raina, student council president and bossy senior in the Q&Q. And this is where one of the early dominoes drops. When Darcy bows out of helping Brooke with her essay (without telling her about her counseling session with Brougham, because Locker 89 is still a secret), Raina offers to step in and help. Darcy can feel her life going off-track.
DEVELOPMENTS
The story develops on several lines: Darcy gives advice to other students about starting friendships, about breakups, about resisting pressure to have sex, and about choosing sides and being the safe space, creating a couple bubble.
Darcy helps Alexander Brougham with his effort to restore a relationship with Winona, and gets to know him better in the process. Brougham challenges Darcy and pushes her to question herself. She might even start doubting her ability as a relationship coach, but may also get to know herself better, as Brougham also gets to know her.
There are several episodes where Darcy makes a commitment to help Brougham, meet with him, plan with him, go to Disneyland to follow him and Winona around for on-the-spot counseling, and then she’s not available to spend time with Brooke. At Disneyland, her hopes are dashed and so are Brougham’s, and they stay back together to eat junk food and ride scary rides.
Brooke and Raina develop an amorous relationship, and Darcy feels sidelined in her long-standing friendship with Brooke.
Brougham’s difficult family life comes into focus. Darcy’s financial issues play out with her Locker 89 business. And her sister, Ainsley provides insight and help at key points.
Eventually, Darcy learns one of Raina’s secrets through Raina’s inquiry to Locker 89; a secret that involves Brooke. And in her jealousy she blabs it to Brooke, to help her see that Raina isn’t so great. When Brooke breaks up with Raina, Darcy doesn’t feel vindicated. She feels guilty. Brougham acts as confidant, friend, and conscience to Darcy.
CLIMAX
Darcy tells Brooke that she runs Locker 89 and that Raina was thinking about telling Brooke about her bad conduct all along. Brooke then also realizes how Darcy sabotaged an earlier relationship she wanted to start by her answers to questions put to Locker 89 from Brooke and Jas. Brooke ends their friendship.
Brooke tells Raina who tells her friends and then the whole school knows Darcy was running Locker 89. As Darcy tries to deal with demands, there’s a stampede and fight at the locker and confidential letters get grabbed willy nilly by students. The school principal suspends Darcy and her mother grounds her, ends her business, and insists she pay back any student who wants their money back.
Darcy is ashamed, financially drained, and ostracized at school, but Brougham stands up for her to the principal and in the cafeteria.
While she’s grounded, the seniors go to prom. She gets a call from Finn that Brougham needs help because he’s drunk and wasted and can’t go home. Winona is gone and won’t pick up her phone. Ainsley helps Darcy pick up Brougham from the prom and he spends the night at her place, and the next morning throwing up.
Darcy finally realizes she has real feelings for Brougham, but this also calls into question her identity as a Q&Q Club member. Is she queer or not? Also, Brougham says he’s happy, and so Darcy feels the shadow of Winona and the limits on growing her relationship with Brougham beyond friendship.
CONCLUSION
Darcy’s birthday comes with both parents there. Brougham attends. Gifts, a funny Aussie “fairy bread” and food. Then Brougham and Darcy leave and put into action the plan they hatched to help Darcy make amends to Brooke and Raina. By the end, the misunderstandings have cleared, the mixed signals aren’t mixed, and Darcy and Brougham are finally together.
THOUGHTS AND ANALYSIS
The story is written in first-person narrative. It has a lot of elements that are both sophisticated and yet very young-adult oriented. The advice is informative. The conflicts induce stress and tensions that keep the story moving. This is both a quick read and a novel to read a second time.
The flaws that Darcy brings to the table make her both likeable and relatable. She doesn’t handle criticism well. She places a lot of pressure on herself to be perfect. She analyzes everything, and sometimes forgets to let herself feel. There’s a very real charm in seeing the relationship she has with Brougham seesaw back and forth between misunderstandings and insights or revelations.
Romantic comedy with all of the missed cues, false assumptions, and stormy weather you could want! And of course, happily ever after.